it’s been awhile so I’m checking in.
I quit one of my jobs (woo hoo) and may be replacing it with a better one (woo hoo). I think I’m dying of pneumonia but really it’s just a cough. I sound like an 80 year old chain smoker from Jersey… yeesh.
Onwards and upwards:
I feel like I’ve stopped making progress with the lying. I need someone or something to snap my ass back in gear, and I’d rather that motivation come sooner than later. send me encouraging words and I’ll draw you a picture on paint. enticing, no?
I hope one day
somebody loves you
that they see violets
in the bags under your eyes,
sunsets in the downward arch
of your lips,
that they recognize you
as something green,
something fresh and still growing,
even if sometimes
you are growing sideways,
that they do not waste their time
trying to fix you.
so, in the past month I’ve been working two jobs- money is nice, but stress is terrible.
I suppose it’s all starting to pay off. I’m finally getting into a routine and a routine is good for me.
I’ve been putting off contacting my therapist… I WILL do that this week. I have to.
I did finally come up with a budget for myself to get other positive changes in motion, and that feels really great.
As far as my lying goes, I am becoming increasingly more aware of how many little lies I tell each day. It’s surprising (in how numerous it is) but relieving to know that I’m not oblivious to it. I’ve been trying to be more honest in these situations and so far, so good. However, a therapist is needed. Yes.